Set out to write the most beautiful song
Tell the whole world just how special you are
Got some of it right but a lot of it wrong
Like any good poet I lowered the bar
Wanted to father a whole new religion
With alien nuns on some far away star
I've got some tickles there's no way of itchin
But I'll be alright if I lower the bar
I've been instructed by terrible omens
To pick up my pen and to pluck this guitar
I like to think I can rise to the moment
But when I get stuck I just lower the bar
Waltz in the room like I'm Joey Strauss Junior
Trip on my feet and collapse to the floor
Like you to think it's my weird sense of humor
When in fact I just lowered the bar
I've come to trust in your virtue and candor
Your jaw tenses up and I know when you lie
You won't confess that you've lowered your standards
You could be happier and I could be why
'Cause I've been instructed by terrible omens
To pick up my pen and to pluck this guitar
I like to think I can rise to the moment
But when I get stuck I just lower the bar
Lower the bar